Feb 17, 2012

Looking out the window from my tiny house.

Last month,  I sat for hours at my sweet little farm table in my tiny home and looked out the window, I pondered what life would hold in the coming months. Recent storms dumped twenty-one inches of snow in my yard. No power at all or land line phone service for eight days. My all wheel SUV was even stuck in my driveway for three solid days.  I don't own a cell phone on purpose, but even if I did many cell towers were down. Ice storms decorated the surrounding trees in radiance that made shrubs and branches look as if they were made of glass. The iced tree limbs and branches presented danger as the ice melted and the branches heavy from the weight of snow and then ice cracked off and slammed into what ever was in their path.  I was thankful that the huge trees surrounding my retreat didn't drop their branches on my little home.. I also thought about  being better prepared for the next storm and purchasing a generator, especially since having gone through longer storms and power outages for the past twelve years. Sigh. I drove into town almost every night just to thaw out before returning home to freezing temps and no power. I have to make it a point to be better prepared for next winter.

The silence in my life was screaming at me and I just was not inspired to create, decorate or do much. The down time that the storm offered, gave me time to reflect on life, to be thankful for clearing out a unhealthy relationship in my life, to count my blessings, and to deeply feel the pain of the loss of my best friend Bandit. I had the time to just sit and watch and listen and feel the effects of the storm, while taking time to be a human-being instead of the normal human-doing that I am much of the time.

For many months I had anticipated the arrival of my little retreat. I was thrilled when she finally arrived here this past December. I had planned to paint and decorate the interior right away. However, there were delays in even the first step of painting her interior. I painted just enough to do a Christmas post and then stopped and have not done much since that time.  Sometimes life throws curve balls and sends us a bit off track from our original plans.

Because my friends and tiny house enthusiasts have been emailing and asking me to post updates, I decided to post today, and let those who are keeping in touch with me, know about the delays of sharing finished interior pictures. There is still much to do and hopefully as the weather warms up and we ease into Spring it will inspire me to stain my kitchen counter, finish painting, put up kitchen shelves, make a small pantry and create a faux fireplace to add to the charm of my little girl cave.

  In the mean time this post is dedicated to one of the children in my life that dressed in fur and touched my heart in a huge way. I called him Bandit. He spent thirteen years and seven months with me. True love has no ending and the love that a person and a dog share is like no other love. He lives on in my heart forever.


The love of my life, my sweet boy, a beautiful Australian Shepherd, left my side and entered heaven very close to Christmas. He had been diagnosed with bone cancer only three weeks earlier. I was praying against all odds that the remedies I had started him on would allow us to spend yet more time together. I had hoped to be able to take a picture of him inside my tiny home but that never happened. The bone cancer moved fast and two weeks after diagnosis he was not able to walk on his own. I had to lift him, carry and support him every time he needed to get up. With no stairs built to get into the tiny house I was not able to lift him up onto the porch and carry him inside. Besides, it was no longer important. Keeping him comfortable as I prayed for a miracle was all I could do for him. And so he lived out his life in our big home which he was used to and very comfortable in.  He did not show his age and was full of energy and played like a puppy until three short weeks before he left me. The cancer went to war against his health, and I had to release him from his body and life on earth, and with that my heart sank. I know there is a  rainbow over my heart due to all the tears I have shed. I was blessed to  have owned his mother and his brother also. She was my heartbeat dog. Bandit is now reunited with all but one of his litter mates. I still feel lost without him in my life.

 After his passing I threw myself into painting the interior of my tiny home. Painting is therapeutic for me and it helped to quiet my mind from all the questions not answered, that kept me sleepless for weeks since he was diagnosed with cancer.  It helped me to not argue with God, about my dogs fight with cancer. It was not the first time I had been in a battle of this kind with the dreaded disease and a fur kid. One out of three dogs in America dies of cancer under the age of ten and one in two dogs dies of cancer over the age of ten years. Sad... This is why I am passionate about educating people about that dangers of vaccinations, chemical flea products as well as killer kibble that is unfit for a carnivore. OK... that is another blog.

 I was reminded of life's blessings even in the midst of that recent long winter storm.  I was delighted to be blessed with the first eggs from my beautiful Lavender Orpington chickens. They have always had a heat lamp in their coop at night so I filled two flash lights with fresh batteries each night during the storm so they would not be in the dark at night. They paid me back for my efforts with beautiful fresh organic eggs.

Something as simple as those eggs lifted my spirit. I will re group and one day soon be inspired to continue with my plans for fixing up my little menopause cave. Right now I am just giving myself permission to slow down and reflect.

Hopefully spring will bring new posts and further development on my tiny home as I hope to complete some little projects. I am on my way to the store to purchase a set of pink power tools. If that doesn't inspire a girl to use a drill .what will? 

Woof and Wags,

Tonita - a dog mom, a fairy dog mother and a dog co-dependent.

Dogs are not my whole life but they make my life complete.


A Daughter of the King said...

I love the way you described Bandit, as " ...one of the children in my life that dressed in fur ."


Your tiny home sounds very therapeutic. I look forward to reading more about it.

Victoria - Ozarks Crescent Mural said...

I am so sorry to hear about Bandit. What an awesome-looking dog. You sure stuck by his side all the way through. I'm so impressed by that. My dearest condolences. All of your pics are so wonderful, particularly of Bandit and I very much like the last one.

My Shabby Streamside Studio said...

I read that post all the way through, and loved it. I'm proud of you, sad for you. The irony is crushing. But you have hope, and we can too.

Again, so sad for Bandit's loss.



Anonymous said...

We are all saddened by the loss of Bandit. Today I ran across a picture that I think Bandit would approve of. The link is long so it may need to be pasted back together if it gets broken across a line.


Anonymous said...

I'm sorry to hear of your loss. I enjoy following your link and would love to see new pictures of your tiny house. Scott will be building my house. Id love to hear your ideas.-Lory

Sandra said...

I have a friend like you.....when her beloved Sam passed, she posted a Wonderful Obituary in our local newspaper. She is still mourning years later, but now has a lab called Hattie, short for Hatteras. I am a year or more late in posting. :( Just found you. Merry Christmas, 2013.

Anonymous said...

Just in time for 2014 new year and more beginnings. Loved your furry baby Bandit photos and what a beautiful tribute to him.
Fellow dog co-dependent.

Happy New Year!

Theresa said...

Hello... I just found your blog and it is so lovely... I could feel the love and sadness at the passing of Bendit... praying for your happiness in this new year and can;t wait to see more of your tiny retreat!

Theresa said...

Just found your blog and I love it. So sorry about Bandit. Praying for much happiness for you this year and I can't wait to see more of your tiny retreat!

Anonymous said...

I love your blog, & am so sorry for the loss of your fur children. I lost one of mine in 2008, 15 yrs in my life. Knowing they will be there waiting on us & with us in spirit is a blessing.

At Rivercrest Cottage said...

My heart breaks for you. Your sweet dog looks so precious and loved. My favorite dog passed in 1991 and I've loved my granddogs, but have not gotten a dog myself since then. Someday soon I will find one to adopt as I did her. Til then I will enjoy the dogs I read about on other blogs.

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